|
 |
Wednesday, 06 February 2008 |
 |
 9 |
 |
 |
I was reading Manush on the nifty network which then obviously prompted me to access your actual website.
I think I was amazed at Manush, I had never really read anything like it before; a gypsy Romany who creates a tribe of homosexuals, the traveling caravans, the trip to see the 'BARO MAMA' was really clever, the way she manuevered events... there were definitely.
I think the sex scenes lacked a little luster after a few chapters in.
One of the things I would have suggested is that in introducing the characters, you should give an overall physical description and then a trademarc feature taht you continually reiterate. After awhile I was having a hard time remembering who was who and who came from where and under what circumstances?
I also go to a point where I wanted them to vote against having someone join [i know you alluded to this with the denial of the sadist] but it was just a simple blip in the story which I would have liked to be developed more.
Also, there seemed to be a lack of intimacy with the characters interation. Later on, when Jojo and Odehij fell in love, I thought that was a nice touch but we [the readers] missed that whole experience, which could have been really exciting.
Further though, I wanted to see how they were connecting, intimately. why did Zanko like to bed with Marko & Mateo? Was it because they were beautiful. [at some point one of them pointed out that Marko was the most beautiful of the lot] and its little commentaries like these that really flesh out the characters.
It helped to know that Zanko was the most masculine or macho? It was nice to read taht Odehij had long straight hair. But for many of them, in my head they are simpy mannequins... almost faceless.
All of this to say I've just spent the last few hours thoroughly enjoying the storyline. The events were exciting, and well tempered with what I could picture to be real situaitons, experiences.
Overall, the story is simply amazing!!
I just finished the final chapter ::gets up applauds::
An astounding story! I was happy Zanko finally married [even tho i would have liked to know more about Osman] but i understand now, what you were trying to do by not focusing so much on each member of the tribe.
Well done!
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
Thursday, 31 January 2008 |
|
 7 |
|
|
Andrej,
I just found your stories of Manush a few days ago. I have since read all of them and found them very well done. I really liked your writing a lot. As I read your stories, I had questions come to my mind. You have used the names of various gypsy tribes and groups, and the names of many places, small towns I have never heard of. Because, by using these names, you made the story seem very real. My question is, is everything made up? I mean did you make up all the names of the gypsy groups, or tribes, and the places they traveled to and through. You were able to make it seem like a real world that you were very familiar with. Do you have experience in this world you created, I mean have you actually lived within the gypsy world, or is everything complete fiction. Was this story first written in another language, say Italian, then translated into English? I realize from your comment, at the bottom of the story, that it must have been translated from something else.
The creation of the culture you described was most complete, and I want to thank you for sharing your story of Manush. I realize I have not said anything about the sexual part. You did an excellent job of describing sexual activities, in great detail, among your characters. Everything was done in a sexually sensitive way. Congratulations!
Sincerely,
John
|
|
|
|
|
|
13
12
11
10
8
6
5
4
