(1970 - living) U.S.A.
Managing editor of VH1 Online
Matthew Ehrlich argues that his own desire has nothing to do with gender. Matthew, managing editor of VH1 Online in New York, sais he was attracted to both men and women once he "started smooching at age 14". He came out as gay at Williams College, he says, because he saw a lot of abusive heterosexual relationships around him; for the last five years he has identified himself as bi though he prefers the term queer.
"There are some times that I want a certain kind of hair at the back of someone's neck, a look in their eyes, the way they hold their mouth, but it's not necessarily limited to one gender," he says. "It's often much stronger that I want to run my hands through short hair at the back of the neck than that it's a man or woman's hair."
Matthew says some of his partners don't understand this, which leads to problems of trust or jealousy. "[They'll say], 'How can you be sure you desire me when I'm only one gender?'" he says. But this is not the point. "I don't desire a gender, I desire a person."