MASTURBATE
(verb)

abuse oneself; Arthur;

ball off; bang the banjo; barclay; bash the bishop; beat it; beat off; beat the meat; beat one's meat; beat your meat; bleed the lizard; bleed the serpent; bop the baloney; bop the bologna; burp the worm; bust a nut; butter the lobster;

change gears; chase the weasel; check the oil; choke the bishop; choke the chipmunk; choke the chicken; choke the gopher; chopsticks (to play -); click the mouse (females); come one's mutton; come one's turkey;

dick off; declare your independence; dunk your dolphin;

feel up; finger-bang; flick the bristles (females); flog one's meat; flog the dolphin; flog the friar; flog the log; flong one's dong; flog one's meat; flying automatic (with vibrator); frig; fuck off;

get excited; get it off; get wet; grab the bozac; grease the axle; grease the monkey; grease the sprocket; grease your pole;

hammer hands; hand-gig;

jack off; jack the beanstalk; jack your dick; jag off; jenny; jerk off;

make babies;

paddle the pickle; paddle the robbin; palm it; peel the banana; pet the kitty; piddle the pud; piddle; play with it; play with oneself; plug the mellon; polish the knob; polish the low-quarters (military); polish the pud; polish the purple helmet; polish the wand; pound your pud; powder your nose (females); play the upright organ; pull off; pull the peter; pull your pud; punch the clown; punish Percy in palm;

rough-it; rub off; rub one out;

scratch the crack (females); screw off; self-service; shake the snake; skin your bone; sing an aria; slap your dong; sling jelly; slip 'n' slide (females); smack Johnny behind the ears; snap the twig; soap it up; spank the monkey; spank your shank; squeeze (one) off; squeeze the lotion dispenser; squirt around; stroke (it); stroke off; stroke the cat; stroke the kitty; stroke the lizard; stroke the salami; strop one's beack; strum the banjo;

take care of business; tap dance; tickle your fancy (females); toss (someone) off;

vibrate the vag (females);

wack-it; wack off; walk the dog; wank; wank off; wave the wand; wax the dolphin; whack off; wack your squack; wax the dolphin; wax the rod; wham the ham; whip it; whip the birdie; whip your whillie; whittle the wood; whistle dixie; wrap five around woody;

yank; yank the chain; yank your doodle dandy;

MASTURBATION
(noun)

Anna palm; armswing; auto eroticism;

backstroke; balling off; baming your wang with the rest of the gang; banty; bean wiggling (females); beating off; bonking your bologna; boping the bologna; bopping your bishop; buffing the purple helmet;

cabareting; captain jack (personified); caress the clit; catching a nut; choking the chicken; circle jerk (group masturbation); coming one's mutton; corralling the tadpole; cracking nuts;

dancing with myself; date with Bobby Palm and his five brother; dating Rosy Palmer; dialing the pink telephone (females); diddling; diddling the box; dishonorable discharge; doing the dishes; dolloping the weener/wiener;

feeding the ducks; feelie; finger blasting; fingering; fingerlingus (females); finger blast; finger fuck; finger jabbing; fist fucking; fisting off; five-fingered Annie; five finger lingo; five finger knuckle chuckle; five-knuckle chuckle; five knuckle shuffle; flogging the bishop; flogging the poodle; flogging your pride; Franny and her five sisters;

getting off; going cabareting;

hand car; hand-gig; hand jive; hand job; hand release; having one off the wrist; hitchhiking under the sheets; home job; honking his root; humping off;

ispatio;

jerking off; jerking the cherkin; jilling (females); jilling off (females);

knitting;

manual labor; marching German soldier; milking the lizard;

"Nothing Mom!";

onanism; one-eyed Kate;

piddley diddling; pillow fuck; Playing solitaire; playing the skin flute; playing with it; playing with oneself; playing with peter; pocket pinball; pocket ping-pong; pocket pool (through the clothing); polishing the pearl (females); pounding the pud; pud wacking; pulling your pecker; pulling your puppet; pumping off; punching the munchkin;

red eye Pete; riding the pillow; rosy palm; Rosie Palmer and her five friends; rubbin' a chubby; rub the clit;

Sally fist and her five sisters; Sally palm; sanding it; self abuse; self-pollution; self-service; self-stimulation; Shangry-la; shining your helmet; slapping the salami; solo; solitary sin; solitary vice; spankin'; spanking it; spanking the monkey; sparring with the heavy bag; stirring the soup (females); stroking the muscle; strumming the banjo;

talking to Henry; tickling the turkey; Tilly and her four friends; tooting your root; tossin' Tony; touckie-feelie; trip to the john; tuggin' on it; tug-o-war with the Cyclops; twiddle a speed bag; twiddling; two finger tango;

using the 10-inch black beauty;

whacking off; whacking the weasel; walking the dog; wanking; waxing your carrot; waxing your pole; waxing the soldier; wiggling the bean (females); with my imaginary lover;