Testicles ara not all the same...
A John goes down for breakfast and it is quite obvious that his boyfriend has the hump with him.
He asks what is the matter and Fred replies "Last night you were talking in your sleep and I want to know who Luke is"
Thinking quickly on his feet he tells that Luke was 'Lucky Luke' and was actually the name of a horse that he bet on that day and won $340.
Fred seemed quite happy with the explanation and they went off to work.
When John got home that night, his boyfriend had the hump with him again.
Asking him what the matter was now, he replied, "Your horse phoned!"
Two guys have been living together for some time when the first guy began to question his lover.
"I know you've been with a lot of other men before. How many were there?"
The lover replied, "Look, I don't want to upset you, there were many. Let's just leave it alone."
The first guy continued to beg and plead.
Finally, the lover gave in.
"Let's see." he said, counting off with his hands, "There was one, two, three, four, five, six, YOU, eight, nine..."
The man emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his boyfriend complained (as usual) "I have a headache".....
"Perfect" he said. "I was just in the bathroom powdering my dick with aspirin. You can either take it orally or as a suppository - it's up to you!"
There were these three guys. They all worked together at this gay owned factory.
Everyday they noticed that their boss would leave work a little early. So one day they meet together and say that today when the boss leaves, they'll all leave early too.
The boss left and so did they.
The first guy goes home and goes to bed so he can get an early start the next day.
The second guy goes home and cooks his lover a fantastic dinner.
The third guy goes home and walks to his bedroom. He opens the door slowly and sees his boyfriend in bed with his boss, so he shuts the door and leaves.
The next day the first and second guys are talking and plan to go home early again.
They ask the third guy if he wants to leave early again and he says, "No."
They ask him why not and he said, "Because yesterday I almost got caught!"
Tony goes out leaving Steve at home alone and the doorbell rings.
He opens it to a guy, "Hi, is Tony home?"
Steve replies, "No, he went to the store, but you can wait here if you want."
So they sit down and after a while of silence the friend says "You know Steve, you have the greatest body I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks just to kiss your bare chest."
Steve thinks about it for a second and figures, what the hell - a hundred bucks! He opens his robe and shows his hairy chest letting him kiss it. Chris thanks him and throws a hundred bucks on the table.
They sit there a while longer and Chris then says "That was so amazing I've got to see your dick too. I'll give you another hundred dollars if I could just blow your dick for a few minutes."
Steve, amazed by the offer, thinks a bit about it and thinks, heck, why not? So he opens his robe and let Chris give him a nice blowjob.
Then Chris thanks and leaves.
A while later Tony arrives back home from the store. Steve goes up to him, "You know, your friend Chris came over."
Tony says, "Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"
Unused Lover or Lover's Castoff
A guy arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified to find his lover in bed with a young, handsome boy.
Just as he was about to storm out of the house, his lover stopped him with these words: "Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about:
"Driving home, I saw this young guy, looking poor and tired, I offered him a ride. He was hungry, so I brought him home and fed him some of the roast you had forgotten about in the refrigerator.
"His shoes were worn out so I gave him a pair of your shoes you didn't wear because they were out of style.
"He was cold so I gave him that new birthday sweater you never wore even once because the color didn't suit you.
"His trousers were worn out so I gave him a pair of yours that you don't fit into anymore.
"Then as he was about to leave the house, he paused and asked, 'Is there anything else that your lover doesn't use anymore?'
"And so, here we are!"
A guy is cleaning out the closet he shares with his lover and on the top shelf he notices a large box. He carefully takes the box down. He notices a sign on top of the box which reads: Do Not Open!
Naturally he was curious so he opens the box and inside he sees $20,000 in cash and three dildos.
Later that evening his lover comes home, and he immediately confronts him about the contents of his box. The lover is upset, but he proceeds, "Why are there three dildos in the box?"
"Every time we had bad sex and I didn't get off, I took a dildo into the bathroom then put it in the box when I was finished" The lover replied.
"Hmm, three dildos, twenty years together, that's not bad," The guy thought. "What's the $20,000 for?," he asked.
"Every time I got a dozen dildos, I sold them."
It's two o'clock in the morning and a Martin and Charles are asleep, their limbs tenderly intertwined.
Suddenly the phone rings.
Martin picks up the phone and says "Hello? ... How the hell do I know? What am I, the weather man?" and promptly slams the phone down.
Charles rolls over and asks, "Who was that?"
Martin replies, "I don't know. Some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear."
Two elderly lovers were celebrating their 50th anniversary, with a friend at the bar.
The friend suggests they return to the little town where they first met. "I'll drive you" he offers, "you guys are always talking about the place, it would be nice to go back and visit". So off they go.
They sat in a small coffee shop in the town and were telling the friend about their love for each other and how they met at this same spot.
The friend smiled as the old couple spoke.
One old boy turns to his lover and says, "Remember the first time we made love, it was up in that field across the road, when I put you against the fence. Why don't we do it again for old times sake?"
His lover giggled like crazy and said, "Sure, why not."
So they went out the door and across to the field. The friend smiled to himself, thinking how romantic this was and decided he better keep an eye on the couple so they didn't run into any harm. The old couple walked to the field and as they approached the fence they began to undress.
One old man picked up his lover when they were naked and leaned him against the fence. The friend was watching from the bushes and was surprised at what he saw. With the vitality of youth, one old boy bounced up and down excitedly, while the other lover thrashed around like a wild man, then they both fell to the ground in exhaustion.
Eventually, they stood up, shook themselves, and got dressed.
As they walked back towards the road, the friend stepped from his hiding spot and said, "That is the most wonderful love making I have ever seen. You must have been a wild couple when you were young."
"Not really," said one old man, "when we were young, that fence wasn't electric."