The Guy in the Middle
Three guys arrived late at a ski resort and when they got there they found that they would have to share a room until the morning, because nothing else was available.
When they got to their room they found only a large bed available. "It's just for one night," they thought, and went to bed.
The next morning the one on the far right of the bed said, "I had a really strange dream last night. I kept dreaming that I was wanking like a furious donkey, but I couldn't feel my hands."
"That's really strange," said the guy on the far left, "because that's what I dreamt too. Exactly the same. Weird."
"You lads!" laughed the guy in the middle. "I just dreamt that I was skiing..."
They won a Cup for...
A selfish Coach
Johhny - Coach! Let me come with you, please...
Coach - Shut up, kid, and suck it!
Q. - Why couldn't the gay quarterback make it in the NFL?
A. - He was too forward with his passes.
Q. - Why do gay athletes make good linemen?
A. - They love penetrating the defense.
Q. - What's the difference between a gay rodeo and a straight rodeo?
A. - At a straight rodeo everyone can yell, "Ride that sucker"
Handy Encounter on the Golf Green
A handsome man is out at the golf course, waiting to tee off.
There is a beautiful young man ahead of him. He loses the grip on his club as he swings it, and it hits the man.
He doubles over in pain, clasping his hands in his crotch.
The youth quickly runs over and says, "Oh, I'm so sorry. Here's let me help you."
The young man opens the man's pants and begins to adjust his parts, fondling his nuts and stroking his rod. Being attracted to him, he also starts to blow him. A few minutes later, the young man asks, "Is that any better?"
The man says, "Oh yeah, that's great, but my thumb still hurts like hell!"
Two gay lovers want to golf together, but neither of them is playing as well as they want to, so they decide to take private lessons. Peter has his lesson first.
After the pro sees his swing, he says, "No, no, no, You are gripping the club way too hard!"
"Well, what should I do?" asks Peter.
"Hold the club gently," the pro replies, "just like you'd hold Dick's balls."
The man takes the advice, takes a swing, and WOW! He hits the ball 250 yards straight up the fairway.
The next day Dick goes for his lesson. After the pro watches him swing, he says, "No, no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard."
"What can I do?" asks Dick.
"Hold the club gently, just like you'd hold Peter's prick."
Dick listens carefully to the pro's advice, takes a swing, and THUMP. The ball goes straight down the fairway, about 15 feet.
"That was great," the pro says, "nice and gentle. Now take the club out of your mouth and swing it with your hands, like you're supposed to."
Did you hear about the gay tennis pro?
He blew his rival off the court.