logoMatt & Andrej Koymasky Home
an original story by Andrej Koymasky


THE ODD COUPLE CHAPTER 4 - AN INSTINCT FOR SELF-PRESERVATION

Maurizio awoke late the next morning to find himself alone in Stefano's bed.


The man had gotten up early and gone to wash himself. While shaving, he studied himself in the mirror. He felt good - as well as he ever had. The tears he shed the previous night while he was worshipping that resolute, simple boy had begun to free him from a suffering that had gnawed at him for months - suffering that he himself had nourished for nearly as long. Even his face seemed to have regained some of that twinkling, merry air of soft amusement that once was so like him.

Stefano knew that this good fortune was due to the owner of that exquisite body now in his bed. He felt grateful. But also, he knew instinctively that he must get free of this boy. He must be careful to preserve himself. Maurizio was a good boy, but he was straight. And, he used underage girls for his pleasure. What could they have in common? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

He dressed quietly and went out to buy breakfast for them both at a nearby bar. On returning home, he heard the boy's voice calling out from the bedroom.

"Hullo!"

He went to the bedroom door and saw him sitting in the middle of the bed, his hair ruffled, lightly scratching at his bare chest with his big hand.

"Hallo. How's the injury? Do you still feel it?"

"Just a little. That stuff you put on me and th' massage really did it good. It only hurts a little if I touch it. But I c'n move with no problem."

"Very good. Why don't you get a shower while I fix breakfast? I discovered that the gas boiler works properly so we have hot water."

"Good." the boy said. Then he looked down at his hands and asked softly, "What happened last night? You were so strange when... when ya made me come again."

"Oh. I'm sorry..." the man said hesitantly.

"No, shit... I mean... I liked it; I really, really liked it!" the boy exclaimed, looking at him with suddenly bright eyes, "In all my life, Stefano, I have never, ever felt so good. It was the best! You fuckin' messed up my head in an awesome way!"

"I was wrong to do it that way with you, Maurizio. Really, I'm very sorry."

Confused, the boy looked at him. "But... Why?"

"Because that is a way to make love that is usually saved for someone who is very special to you - someone whom you love very much."

"You mean you don't usually have sex with boys like that?"

"Right."

"So... how d'ya do it, usually?"

"It depends... With each person I am different."

Maurizio was perplexed. "Really? I always do it with girls th' same way..." He thought for a minute, then added, brightening, "So then, I... I was that special to you?" His eyes brightened.

"You were not." Stefano said deliberately, "Something happened to me, just then..."

"Happened? like what?"

"Well, for a long time I have felt dead along with Carlo - so dead that I couldn't cry more than a tear or two... so dead that I haven't felt turned on to anyone. Then last night... with you... something snapped. I cried. I felt incredibly turned on, and I felt that Carlo still lived inside me so that you... you just disappeared, and it was as if I were making love to Carlo, not you. That's why I apologized to you."

"Fucking hell! I c'd never love someone that much."

"Right. I don't think you can... yet."

"Why do you say I can't yet?" Maurizio looked troubled.

"Because to love that strongly, you must be able to overcome yourself. You, on the contrary, think mainly about yourself."

"Is that so wrong?"

"No, not at all. That is natural for us all, particularly at your age. Everyone is what he is."

"But you... How'd you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Love so much..."

Stefano reflected a moment, then said, "Perhaps I learned to love because I was always loved. First, by my parents, in their own way, then by Carlo. Someone who is so wrapped in love needs to give love. Do you understand?"

"I'm not sure..."

"Well, think of it this way... People who have a lot of money can buy many things... or help many people. People who have little money cannot do that."

"You mean your family and Carlo were rich?"

"Well, yes, but not with money... It was with things like affection, understanding, trust, patience, generosity, joy, sympathy... all of that and much more. That's why they could give so much to others. They were able to truly love. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, maybe. It sounds beautiful, th' way you say it. But cancha have love and money, too?"

"Some people think so. But in reality, money only buys sex, not love."

"What? Wait a minute... Ain't sex and love th' same thing?"

Stefano laughed. "Maurizio, are you sure you want to talk about this before breakfast?"

"No, really, Stefano. What is th' difference 'tween sex and love?"

Stefano could see that the boy really wanted to understand. So he said patiently, "Sex is what you do with the little girls. You don't love them, right?"

"Well, nah. But I don't hate 'em, either..."

Stefano chuckled. "Of course not. But aren't they all the same to you?"

"I like 'em while I'm fuckin' 'em..."

"But what about before you fuck them, and after? You feel neutral towards them, especially afterwards, right?"

"Well... Yeah, that's right."

Stefano continued, "Sex is what you and I did - just sex."

"All three times? But the third time was so different, Stephano. I could feel it!"

"Well to you, the third may have been different, but still it was just sex."

"What was it t' you?"

"While I was giving you sexual pleasure, in some way I was reliving the love for my Carlo. It was not love for you."

"Fucking shit! But it felt so awesome! And I c'd tell right away that it was something different. Just to think of it turns me on. Look, I've got a hard-on right now!" The boy uncovered his lap to reveal his swollen member arching up demandingly. "I want t' do it again... Don't you?"

The man answered gently, softly, "No, Maurizio, we never can do it again."

"But! Why not?" the boy exclaimed, astounded.

"It is too dangerous for us, Maurizio. You are young and beautiful and so uncomplicated, and I like doing it with you so much! But we could never be each other's lover - really." Stefano could feel his throat begin to tighten.

"Huh? How c'n ya say that?"

"The most obvious reason is that you like underage girls and I like young men."

"Yeah. But... But maybe... If someone like you took care o' me, I wouldn't need t' do it with young girls. I might not even be interested in 'em any more."

"You mean... You could become gay? You?" Stefano asked with a soft smile.

"Hell no!" Maurizio said, indignantly. "I never done that shit in m' whole life!"

"Exactly!"

"All I wanted t' say is that... You cd make me as happy as th' little girls - even more!"

"Yes, you would get your needs met, but what about my needs? How would I get them met?"

"Holy shit, man! I got no clue."

"Right. Now maybe you can begin to get an idea of what love is. To love means that the other comes before everything and everybody - even before yourself. And to make your lover happy, you'd do anything - even give up your life! His happiness would be more important than yours; his pleasure, more than yours. Now do you understand a little bit?"

"Well, maybe. But I cd never be like you say - with anybody. For sure! God, I really couldn't - believe me!"

Stefano smiled at him gently and said, "Okay. Go shower now, while I fix breakfast." Still smiling, the man shook his head as he turned to the food.


They ate in silence. Afterwards, the boy sat at the table while Stefano washed and put away the dishes. When he was finished, he said, "Maurizio, you have eaten and had your coffee. Don't you think it's time for you to dress and go on home?"

The boy hesitated, then said, "This was really good. You're a good cook, too."

"A good meal and a night of love can make a man into a king..." Stefano sighed.

"You c'n say that again!" the boy replied cheerily. Then softer, "...and you're great at both!"

Stefano didn't dare reply. The more he was around this young man, the weaker grew his resolve not to see him any more. He knew that he could not afford to become infatuated with Maurizio. Their lives were just too different. So he sighed, and said in a thin, high voice, "Would you rather take the tram or a taxi? Either way, it'll be on me, of course."

"The tramway is okay, but I'm free today. It's Saturday."

"I have a lot to do, Maurizio - unpack everything and put it away. Even two days may not be enough."

"I c'd stay and help ya."

"No. Thank you."


Slowly, Maurizio stood up, putting his hand in his pants pocket. With a look of surprise, he pulled out a 50,000 lira banknote.

"What's this? This ain't my money!"

"I put it there this morning before you woke up."

"Why?"

"I thought you might be able to use it."

The boy eyes narrowed. "It's for th' sex!"

"No. I promised you a tip for your help."

"I ain't no hustler!"

"I never thought that, Maurizio, really. It's just the tip I promised you yesterday, when you decided to stay and help me. Sex has nothing to do with that money, really!"

Furious, Maurizio threw the money on the table.

Stefano picked up the money and gave it back to him. "Without you I never could have managed to move that furniture. It is really just a tip, Maurizio, please..."

The boy softened. "You don't need t' tip me for a little help. I did it 'cause I wanted to, not for some tip. Just 'cause you couldn't... do it... alone..."

"I know. And I'm grateful for that. I wouldn't want to pay you for what we did later. Please. On your way home use the money to buy your mother some chocolates and flowers. She'll be happy..." Stefano offered the money to Maurizio again.

Maurizio smiled wryly. "If I did that, Mum'd fall over stone dead! It's not even her birthday!"

"Do it, please. And tell her it's from me..."

The boy's face went blank. "Yeah, okay. Whatever..."

"Thank you. But now it's better that you go."

"All right." Then he brightened. "When can I see ya again?"

After a long pause, Stefano struggled to say, "I... uh... think it's better that we don't."

The boy whined, "Can't I just stop in for a beer if I'm in th' neighborhood? I won't pester ya, just maybe two 'r three times a year."

Stefano shrugged and sighed. "Oh, all right, Maurizio. There is a limit even to the instinct of self-preservation. Okay... Once or twice a year, but no more. And just for a beer."

"What's the instinct of self-conversation?"

Stefano could hardly hear himself say, "Forget it, Maurizio! Goodbye, and thanks again... for your help."

Maurizio extended his hand to Stefano and they shook hands. "Thank you." Then impulsively, he reached out with both arms and hugged Stefano tightly. Then he turned and ran out of the apartment.

The man heard him running all the way down the stairs. He sat down at the table and suddenly felt very lonely, empty, and totally exhausted.

"Oh my God!" he said thinly, staring at the empty chair where minutes before the boy had been sitting. "And that after just one night with him! This boy has completely messed you up. He pulls you out of one pit only to leave you teetering on the brink of another..."


Previous page
back
Cover
ToC
2ndShelf

shelf 1

Next page
next


navigation map
recommend
corner
corner
If you can't use the map, use these links.
HALL Lounge Livingroom Memorial
Our Bedroom Guestroom Library Workshop
Links Awards Map
corner
corner


© Matt & Andrej Koymasky, 2015